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Love Live Long

Even fans of Mike Figgis’ digital experiments will be hard-pressed to find anything of interest in “Love Live Long,” the uneven helmer’s unattractive, semi-docu style glimpse at a rich creep’s one-night stand with a suicidal woman. Looking like something a film student might put together, the pic can’t muster any pointed commentary on gender power struggles, instead churning the paranoid waters of male fantasy already covered in “Fatal Attraction.” “Love” is strictly for that rare Figgis completist.

Dance with Death

A blessedly minor cinema genre concerns policewomen or female journalists who work “undercover” as strippers or prostitutes in order to gather information concerning either criminal or newsworthy activities, and with this sexploitative affair it is a journalist who assumes the double duty. Reporter Kelly Crosby (Barbara Alyn Woods) supposes that a clandestine vocation as a stripteaser will enhance her stalled newspaper career and she persuades her editor (Drew Snyder) to allow her secondary employment at the sleazy Bottoms Up Club in Los Angeles, following homicides of two strippers who worked there, as Kelly believes that she will possibly locate clues within the club if she doffs everything for her night job. Numerous characters scented of red herring are introduced amid many tiresome scenes depicting augmented flesh of indifferent quality, as the plucky newspaperwoman attempts, with assistance from vice sergeant Shaughnessy (Maxwell Caulfield) who has entered the photograph as her lover, to determine the identity of the killer. Because homicides of ecdysiasts persist, and since nearly each personage with a speaking part is clumsily signified as a potential suspect, an element of suspense might be expected to appear, but this production fails to deliver on that score as a viewer in a semi-comatose state should yet have no difficulty in selecting the killer. The scenario, in particular its dialogue, is insultingly puerile, easily finding ways to include an overage of clichs within its framework, and the acting is largely unskillful, with the exception of Lisa Kudrow, near the beginning of her career in a small part as a press room worker and friend of Kelly. A positive element of this extraordinarily poor mpeg is the output of its sound crew, but otherwise there is nothing to commend it, from its wretched direction and continuity through its total ignorance of even the most basic law enforcement procedures as evidenced by Caulfield’s (dismal) performance, to the excruciating and seemingly endless climactic scene, silly to the nth, almost as if those responsible are venturing to make it as incongruous as is possible.

Oscar: Una Pasion Surrealista

t might have been an ideal project for a genuine surrealist filmmaker like Raul Ruiz, but the dull, woefully conventional biopic “Oscar: The Color of Destiny” stumbles its way through the roller-coaster life of Spanish painter Oscar Dominguez. The story is pallid enough, but director/co-writer Lucas Fernandez has the bad idea to parallel it with a ludicrous plot involving a contempo Madrid woman, overplayed by Victoria Abril. Despite the star power of Abril, Joaquim de Almeida and Jorge Perugorria, pic will be ignored in most theatrical territories.

Gisele Bundchen Looking Sexy and Skinny For a Pregnant Woman

It must have something to do with strong supermodel genes or something because look at Gisele Bundchen here she’s knocked up by Tom Brady and looks damn hot and very spinner-like. I don’t get it, but this is far from any sort of complaint as she looks just as stunning as ever. I love the long, lovely legs with those hot short shorts. I never paid much attention I guess but her legs are just so incredibly long. You can’t get as much starlet content as you can in the biggest spot for sex tapes and nude celebrities, Celeb Heat.

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Hell has Harbor Views

According to this very funny and very ebony comedy, that is indeed all that they do. With a cast containing more stars than Sagittarius, this movie seemed destined to succeed, and indeed it does.I see that sometimes people agonizes over the question “why is a movie funny?” (or not funny). Well, I don’t know the answer either, but one thing that seems to contribute here, is that every one of the stellar cast members seems to be enjoying him or herself here. Steve Bisley in particular is the most animated I have ever seen him to be.Lisa McCune is indeed a very beautiful woman, and this is the first I have seen of her that allows that to come through. Coles commercials and policewoman’s uniforms have truly done nothing for her. Freya Stafford always looks great, but she seems to have been given (or chosen!) more opportunities to show herself off.The storyline is ebony, ebony, ebony. Our hero works in a very high powered law firm, beset by both internal and external problems. All of the clichs about lawyers come into play. He is buffeted by forces way outside his control, and tries to do the “right thing”. Often his choices are only between overwhelming evils. It is surely not a spoiler to say that ultimately he finds a truly creative way to succeed.The takes where he talks directly to the camera, a la Bruce Willis in “Moonlighting”, are very well done, and not overdone. And the opulent settings in downtown Sydney add much to the mood of the movie.The ending left little room for a sequel or a series. Nevertheless, I hope and pray that there will be one.If you are a lawyer, I suspect that you won’t find this too funny, and if you are forced to sit through this, you may well cringe the entire movie. If you are anyone else, I suspect that you, like me, will find this movie to be ROFL funny.